Are you starting to wonder if your donor sperm might be the reason behind unsuccessful fertility treatments? You’re not alone. As someone who works closely with women navigating IUI and IVF, I see this moment come up all the time. You pour your heart into choosing the “perfect” donor—hours of scrolling profiles, lengthy discussions with your partner, and finally settling on the one who felt right. But now, after several failed IUIs or IVF cycles, you’re asking yourself the tricky question:

Is it time to pivot and consider a new donor?

WHY DONOR SPERM MAY BE THE MISSING PIECE

I’m Nicole Stern, founder of Fertilista, and I help women like you find clarity in the uncertainty of fertility. If you’ve had:

• 3, 4, or even 5 IUI cycles without success 
• One or more IVF cycles that didn’t work

It might be time to take a closer look at your sperm donor. I know how difficult that can be, especially after all the emotional and financial investment you’ve made. But here’s what I want you to know—

Donor sperm may not be tested as thoroughly as you think.

In many clinics and multiple states, sperm from donors is only tested for genetics and STDs. What’s often missing? A rigorous semen analysis that checks for:

• Count (How many sperm are present) 
• Motility (How well the sperm move) 
• Morphology (The sperm’s shape)

These three factors—especially motility and morphology—are crucial for fertilization and forming a healthy embryo, especially during IVF.

QUESTIONS TO ASK BEFORE YOU SWITCH DONORS

Before you leap, ask your sperm bank these essential questions:

• Did this donor undergo a complete semen analysis? 
• Can I see the report showing count, motility, and morphology? 
• Are there live, healthy births from this donor?

This may seem like a small piece of the puzzle, but trust me—it can greatly affect your outcome.

DON’T LET THE COST OF SPERM VIALS HOLD YOU BACK

I get it. You’ve already purchased several vials from this donor, and “pivoting” feels like throwing that money away. But here’s the truth:

At the end of the day, when you look at the cost of donor sperm versus the cost of IUI or IVF, it’s much easier to pivot and choose a new donor.

The real financial—and emotional—cost comes from repeated failed cycles. You don’t want to throw good money after bad, especially when your stress levels and emotional health are on the line.

IF IT WORKED BEFORE—BUT ISN’T WORKING NOW

This is another scenario I see often:

You used a donor successfully for your first child, but now you’re experiencing fertility struggles in trying for your second. You’re not alone, and you’re not doing anything wrong.

If you’re having trouble conceiving with the same donor you used for your first child, and it’s just not working… you really owe it to yourself to think about pivoting.

Secondary infertility can be confusing and painful, especially if the donor worked once before. But sperm quality can degrade, your biology may have changed, and yes, it may still come down to picking a new donor.

YOU ARE NOT STARTING OVER

Switching donors does not mean you’re starting from square one. You’re moving forward with more information, more clarity, and more control. And even though it’s hard, it’s often the very thing that helps you finally get that positive pregnancy test.

You’ve already made countless sacrifices—your time, emotional energy, and so much money. Now is the time to make sure you’re doing everything in your power to move closer to your dream of motherhood.

I just want to see you happy. I want to see you pregnant. I want to see you with your healthy baby.

If you’re feeling confused or unsure, Fertilista is here to walk through this decision-making process with you.

FOLLOW ME FOR MORE FERTILITY INSIGHTS

If you’re navigating IUI or IVF with donor sperm, my job is to make sure you’re getting the answers you need to make empowered decisions. Follow me for more practical, actionable advice specifically designed for women who are doing everything “right,” but still waiting for their miracle.